|Posted by JENNIFER SENNE on February 11, 2018 at 11:30 PM|
Finding Peace in the Storm
Each of us has a story; some are fun, and some are painful. “Life is not fair”, I often hear. If you consider my story; walk through my storm, that phrase may shed some truth to it. Never once thought to be introduced to the words Dystonia or Hemiplegic Migraines; entirely scientific sounding words but these have become a part of me; my storms in life. Walking, thinking, seeing, talking, breathing; these are daily functions that we do not give much attention to, naturally because we wake up each day and there they are; faithfully working for you. It is just a part of a normal living. However, in my case, each day is a guessing game, a waiting game or merely a surprise; not knowing what each day will grant me.
“You don’t know what you have until it’s gone” this phrase is often used to describe those who are valuable to us; what a cliché’, but it’s the truth. You don’t know how important some things are until they start betraying you. Your own body betraying you is not something you expect in life, but that’s what Dystonia and Hemiplegic migraines did to me. A battle of oneself as you may see. Each day, I wake to wonder if I could walk, see, talk, think clearly or breath properly. The thought, the fear of being betrayed with oneself continually lingers in the air; will I function completely? Will there be a pain? Will my muscles obey the signals of my brain or will there be a malfunction? The unexpected spasms, twisting and pulling of muscles that leaves one’s body enervated, becomes a source of frustration each day. Daily normal activities are not as simple as it once was. Independence has become a foreign word. People are not familiar, and so they do not understand how one day you are entirely functioning and the next you are not able to move; they cannot empathize.
Life is not fair, yes, I concur, but it is what you make of it, you can choose to drown, or you can choose to swim. Self- pity is not an option. Storms in life are not here to stay. The sun will always come out, and that’s a source of hope for me. Each day I hang on to every bit of light that peeks through dark days; a reminder that at the end of a rainstorm, a rainbow will emerge. I look for strength in each drop that falls from the sky, searching for the blessings that I may miss during the sunlight. In the storm, you can learn to be strong; learn to cherish each sunray that peeks through the dark clouds, you can learn to see the tiniest piece of grass that grows. As for me, I learned to appreciate each step I take, each breath I breathe. I delight in the wonders my eyes see clearly; I learned to use my voice to praise the one above, I learned to appreciate them all in the midst of the downpour. I realized that blessings could come through pain, through tears, through raindrops, and even through a storm. I take time to appreciate not only the sunny days but to cherish the stillness during a heavy rain. I listen to each drop that falls, powerful they may be at times, I know it will weaken soon. When the sun is finally out, I never forget the blessings, peace, and calmness I experienced during the rain, for this is what gives me security and prepares me for the next storm to come. God sent a rainbow as a promise to His people once, and I hold onto that same rainbow today remembering God’s promise to me. I chose not to let my illness; my storm define me. So, I say to you, whatever your storm may be, know that the sun will always come. Hang in there and in the meantime, be still and know that He is good.